I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
