are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
