She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
