If that was your dad, he is hot
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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