i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
