Im at strip club and am horny
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
