When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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