i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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