is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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