watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
