We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
