u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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