We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
