Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
