I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
