don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
