I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
