At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize