Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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