Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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