Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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