He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
