i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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