butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
