i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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