Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
