you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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