the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
