So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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