was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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