Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
