So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
