the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
