Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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