Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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