One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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