so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
