Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
