Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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