I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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