Do you still have your period?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Drunk is not a location!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
