I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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