So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize