im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
