So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
