He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
FUCK WHALES
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
