i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sex in a hospital.. check
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
