I bet he comes in French.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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