i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
