Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
