He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
