quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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