oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
