I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
