Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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