You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
