Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
