I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
