Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
