My brain says no but my pants say off.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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