Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize