she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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