He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am available for nakedness
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
