He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So much rum. So many feels.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
