she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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