yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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