Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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