how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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