I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
