we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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