i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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