vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
