i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
