Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
